


I Will Be Okay

by A_Dying_Wolf_Dying_With_Dignity



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Feels, Giving Up, I am aware of how horrible I can be, M/M, Never let me be bored because this is an example of the outcome, Oneshot, armin's pov
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-24
Updated: 2015-03-24
Packaged: 2018-03-19 11:05:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3607794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_Dying_Wolf_Dying_With_Dignity/pseuds/A_Dying_Wolf_Dying_With_Dignity
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As long as I have you, I am content with my life.<br/>As long as I'm with you, I do not fear death.<br/>As long as I love you, I will be okay...<br/>--<br/>Armin realizes that the world is not as cruel as he thought it was.</p><p>No, the world is actually far worse than that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Will Be Okay

**Author's Note:**

> I apologize in advance for anyone who was saddened by this story.
> 
> Also, I'm still getting a hang of updating and editing on this website, so it's still kind of hard for me to add more chapters to stories. I'll try, I promise!
> 
> For now just enjoy!

It's all gone.

It's all over.

It's all lost.

Yes, that's right.

It's all lost.

All hope has been lost.

Our chance for freedom, our confidence, our beliefs of a better future - they were all swept away. They died as soon as he did.

Eren, our last hope, was gone.

He died right before me, before us all.

There were too many Titans. He tried to protect me. He tried to protect everyone. He tried, he really did, but his efforts were not enough. They overpowered him eventually. When his Titan form fell to the ground, I was no longer sure of which Titan was tearing at his nape at that moment, feasting on his flesh and blood and bones, devouring what made Eren so unique.

One of them was chewing on the corpse of the one I loved.

I was so lost by then that I did not notice when I loosened my grip on the reins to my horse. I tumble off as my horse gallops on and leaves me behind. My gear remains intact, most likely bruising my sides when I land against them several times until I am flat on my back with the wind knocked out of me. I remain where I lay, staring up at the sky that remains so beautiful on this wretched day.

Something runs down the side of my forehead and drops onto the ground. I lift my hand and touch the base of it, then pull it back. My fingers are smeared with my blood. I must have cracked my head when I fell, just like I did during the 57th expedition months ago. It appears that I will never learn from my mistakes, whether or not they were intentional.

As children, Eren and I shared a dream that has lived on until moments ago. We wanted to reach the outside. We wanted to see what it was like out there. We wanted to see the enormous craters of gushing liquid flames, the large peaks of ice at the bases of lakes, the high dunes of sand which expand over a large area. Most of all, we wanted to see the largest mass of saltwater in the world, the ocean. We wanted to run along the sand together and splash in the crystal blue waters there. We wanted to live by the ocean so we could always watch the horizon together in peace.

That dream, such a naïve dream built out of innocent hope, was crushed the minute Eren was. What purpose is there to dream now? Our dream was to go together and now we are apart. I close my eyes and manage a slight grin, wanting to actually chuckle at this bitter irony. Dreams are a human's expectations and hopes for the future, of what they wish to accomplish by then. For Eren and I, our dream was both what made us rise as well as our downfall.

Off in the distance, I hear many things. I hear the horses galloping around me. I hear shouts from countless men and women giving up their lives. For what purpose did we have to do that now? Eren was our last hope and he is gone. I do not see why we should continue.

Finally, I hear footsteps thumping closer towards where I lay. There are several others behind those. When the vibrations against my back and head cease, I open my eyes and look up. A Titan is crouching and staring down at me. It tilts its head from one side to another. This one does not seem intelligent the way a Shifter is, but it does seem like a curious type by the way it observes me. Those are uncommon.

While the Titans that followed this one lunged at the soldiers passing by, the one that was staring at me picked me up. This one was not rough, which I actually like. Pain may be inevitable, but as long as I do not struggle then I will not have to be inflicted much by this beast.

In one slow yet fluid motion, I am lifted higher above the ground until I hang limp over the Titan's opened mouth. I think back to the Battle of Trost, when the same thing happened during that time. Eren saved me then. He will not be here to save me now, but no worries.

I am okay with that.

I do not even have to worry about feeling the sliminess of this thing's tongue. I am immediately dropped into its mouth and down its throat, straight into literally "the belly of the beast". The warm liquid engulfing the lower half of my body feels thick like blood. I would not be surprised if this really was blood, the blood shed from my fellow comrades.

My eyes adjusting to the darkness, I can see shadows floating around me. Limbs, I conclude them to be, limbs and organs and simply torn up bodies this Titan was responsible for bringing death to, which will soon include myself.

Something in front of me bumps against my stomach. I look down and see the shadow of someone's head, and looking further up I see the rest of their body save for most of the lower half. I force myself to move so that I may bring my hands up against their back, feeling how torn up it was there, and push them up. Then I turn them around, walking while pushing them until I can lean them against the inside of the Titan's stomach.

I allow my hands to roam around their upper body. By the feel of the muscles, I can tell this is a male. His hair, now sticky and wet, was short. He was a well built soldier who unfortunately died in battle. I, although weak and unworthy of being considered a soldier, shall join him soon.

When one of my hands feels around his neck, I feel a string. Did this person have someone who loved him the way Eren loved me once? Is there someone waiting for his return, even though they will be given the horrible news that their lover has died? Was what I was feeling on this string a keepsake as remembrance of his lover? I eventually grab onto some kind of piece of metal. Perhaps it being a locket, I run my thumb over the top to feel around for that little crevice in which I can open it up.

The feel of this metal piece was familiar, scarily familiar. The bottom of the palm of my hand feels somewhat dulled edges pressing against it. I raise my other hand and have that feel this piece to assure myself of what this was. This was a key, one that I was very familiar with.

It was none other than Eren's key.

I lift my head and stare at where the male's eyes would be, in which the lids are closed.

"... Eren?"

Oh, how much crueler can fate be?

Here I am, standing before the corpse of my love, Eren.

At least... the universe brought us together. I am thankful for that.

Hot droplets pierce through my eyes finally, rolling down my cheeks. I grit my teeth and place my fists against his chest. I press myself up against him. There was no heartbeat, as expected, but just knowing that made me cry even harder.

"Let's see... the outside world," I tell him. Even if he may not be here physically, I want his spirit to hear me. I want all the spirits in the heavens to hear me. "We can see the outside world now, Eren, and we won't even have to fight to get there! It's simple."

Remembering my gear still attached to my straps, I find the handle of one of the swords to it and bring it down to lock onto one of the blades kept intact even after all of this. I raise it above our heads before wrapping my free arm around what was left of his waist, keeping us close together. I position the tip of my blade against the left side of his back over where his once beating heart was and then aim it diagonally so it was aligned towards my heart. One swipe and this will all be over. I will get to see Eren again and we can accomplish our dream a different way, even if it means leaving behind the crumbling remains of the rest of humanity.

"Don't worry, Eren, everything will be okay."

This is not a lie, Eren. I have lied to you many times before, and yet you have always trusted me, so trust me on this. We will be okay once I end this. We will be okay as soon as I join you. You see, Eren, because of you, I know that we will okay, just fine. This assurance is all thanks to you.

As long as I have you, I am content with my life.

As long as I'm with you, I do not fear death.

As long as I love you, I will be okay...

Soon enough, I drive the blade both through his already still heart and then my own. I gasp but then I relax once the numbness begins to quickly take over. I press little kisses over his eyes and then his lips one last time, the last of my tears touching him, not caring about the blood on his face. None of that will matter once the last threads of my life are cut loose.

"Everything... w-will be... okay... E-... Eren."

Yes, I am okay with this.

I will be okay now.

...

...

...

I already am.

|END|


End file.
